1AC: CANDY IS GOOD, YUMMY! Please vote an Affirmative Ballot. Thank you. I am now ready for Cross-Examination

1NC: Candy rots your teeth. Please vote a Negative Ballot. Thank you. I am now ready for Cross-Examination

2AC: There are such things called toothbrushes and toothpaste. Candy tastes good. That is all you need to know. Please vote an Affirmative Ballot. I am now open for Cross-Examination.

2NC: Candy makes you obese. It is also too sugary. Last week, Dr. Sugary, who works for the medical department of Candyland, died of sugar poisoning.
Please vote a Negative Ballot.  I am now ready for Cross-Examination

1NR: Candy also gives people strokes and heart attacks.  Candy is hard, icky, and gross. It even expires in less than two years. Children are getting viruses from mistaking dog droppings for chocolate. Please vote a Negative Ballot.

1AR: There is a such thing as a diet, and there are also things called glasses.  Splenda which is a healthy alternative for sugar. Toothsie Rocks are the new chocolate roll that is both healthy and toothy and wonderfully hard. They melt in your mouth and nourish, clean, and shine your teeth. Please vote an Affirmative Ballot.

2NR: Toothsie Rocks are clinically proven by the Department of Sugar[DoS] control to have enzymes that break down bacteria, but they also break down tooth fibers as well, causing immense tooth pain. Voting Issue 1: Health, Voting Issue 2: Gross Taste

2AR: Voting Issue 1: Yummy taste, Voting Issue 2: World Happiness, Voting Issue 3: Want to try one? ~hands out free toothsie rocks and NEG team watches as judge gobbles them all down and his teeth all shatter and fall out, one by one.~

On the Ballot: Affirmative Team loses. Reason for Decision: Yumm (in a sarcastic voice) I can’t speak any more. YAY... ヽ(*・ω・)ﾉ

Sent on December 2nd 9:30 AM, Affirmative_Team@gmail.com to Stupid_judge@gmail.com: We might have just accidentally sneaked a little doggie poop in the toothsie rolls.. hehehe.
~Yours sarcastically,
Affirmative Team (｡･ω･｡)ﾉ♡

Sent on December 2nd,10:10 AM, Stupid_judge@gmail.com to Affirmative_Team@gmail.com: I might have just accidentally attached a bomb in your losers trophy.. hehehe... 凸(⊙▂⊙✖ )
~Yours victoriously,
Stupid Judge.

Sent on December 4th,,7:30 PM, Affirmative_Team@gmail.com to Stupid_judge@gmail.com: Ow. You win.. for now.. This isn’t the last of us!
~Yours, painfully, ( ꒪Д꒪)ノ
Affirmative Team.
To be continued.. ⊙﹏⊙

Sent on December 2nd, 9:30 AM, Negative_Team@yahoowewon.com to Awesome_judge@gmail.com: Hey, the Aff. team apparently got a different email to contact you by than we did. Why? Also, thanks. Just remember, don’t eat candy!
~Negative Team.
P.S. I love candy, but I had no choice since I was NEG.

Sent on December 5th, 9:43 PM, Awesome_judge@gmail.com to Negative_team@yahoowewon.com: Thanks for emailing me this site to download free stuff on. Why’d you send it to my “stupid judge” email?” ADFra3orqi123jnh43rieto2n;qrgbh fiohe4p2ijqwnvfjob24p2regsrd..  error 404.. awehjkvgnajiorndfb ajefronk jsgrijof[ fao;esfdbz;c;oasbdfuc’a[ew0vc]a038g4q[4aefdoubcs

Sent on December 5th, 10:00 PM,  Negative_team@yahoowewon.com to Awesome_judge@gmail.com: We did? And what’s with the gibberish? It’s like you got a virus or something.
~Negative Team

From this day, nobody has ever heard of Awesome Judge again........ or, Stupid Judge... However, there are some rumours that the curse will lie on anybody who opens a toothsie roll.....
Barak Obama, Candyland October 13, 2012, 3:03 PM: “AHHHHH The toothsie roll company is trying to get to world invasion and devastation!!!!!!!!!!!! I hate toothsie rolls!!” read signs pasted all over what used to be Stoa’s HQ. Some people think the plague was started by a debater who ate toothsie rocks, and then lost an affirmative round. The plague victims have huge poop-shaped marks that rise all over their skin, and ༼´◓ɷ◔`༽ ←(Plague victim)they explode after three to two days, and finally after a week of the sickness, the person’s whole skin deteriorates. The only cure- is unknown (unless you send a $548 check to Affimative_Team@gmail.com,). You catch it by eating the addicting- and banned -Toothsie rocks. Some people claim to be non-debaters and non-toothsie roll eating victims who were just checking their email and received a link from Stupid_judge@gmail.com, which they opened and then somehow got infected.
This is now the biggest scam on the internet. And in your mouth. Beware. This is what the Pentagonia has revealed to me, America’s best president, and the first black to be elected. WOOT WOOT MUCH? Romney is white and rich and doesn’t eat candy. He only eats 1st class steaks, and is skinny, somehow.

AHHHH THE VICTIMS ARE TURNING INTO MOCHI
<-- how can they smile when they are so sick D: